And when I say finally, I mean, Kira has been on me for weeks (possibly months) to get her eyes checked. So I've been feeling bad about putting her off and then putting her off some more.
So today I grabbed the kids from school in the middle of the day and hauled them in for a check up.
Everything was fun...for a few minutes. Kira has some mild nearsightedness, and all the testing for her was really fun! (She wants to be a Dr. so everything relating to Dr's in any field is fun to her).
The waiting room was even fun. The kids played "chess" (they made up their own elaborate rules while I filled out lots of forms).
First it was Kira's turn. She tried to say it was to "show Evan how it isn't scary" but he said "I'm not even scared Kira" ;) She is just the oldest and *always* thinks she should get to do everything first.
Next up was Evan. He liked being a pirate, this is his serious pirate face.
Now here is when things got tricky. And when my sinking stomach started, and the mommy guilt really started for me.
These are 3D glasses. Cool right? All the kid movies are in 3D. It's all the rage now. Only...Evan can't see it. He put the glasses on and then he got upset and told the lady "Stop teasing me about there being a circle on the paper". He really cannot see in 3D. So all those movies? Nothing but a flat blur for him. :( And it just went sort of down hill from here.
So we go in to the Dr. and she is really concerned. Turns out he has very poor vision. Especially in the left eye. So here is this kid that just can't see for crap, and I had no idea. They did a dialation and had us go get lunch and take Kira back to school and then we had to come back.
Here are his pupils, right in the sunlight by the window. So crazy huge!
And then they gave him this funky sunglasses to wear outside and during lunch. He was not a fan. And the drops really stung his eyes. He was very sad and crying and it just tore my heart out. It is so hard to be the mommy some days you know?
So after lunch we found out that:
He has a high amount of far sightedness with astigmatism in both eyes, more in the left.
He has esotropia in the left eye. His eyes don't work together, and he doesn't have 3D vision.
He needs bifocal lenses because he also cannot see up close for reading.
And will likely need patching therapy (this is where they patch the right eye to force the left eye to focus and strengthen) and he could possibly (though not likely) need surgery to correct this.
He is feeling upset that the appointment hurt. And worried because there is no one in kindergarten that wears glasses. He thinks they will tease him. And I sure hope he is wrong! My mommy heart can't take it.
I'm feeling upset that I didn't know.
I *KNOW* it isn't my "fault". But I feel guilty that we didn't have him checked sooner. That I didn't recognize the signs that with my perfect 20/20 hindsight (oh the irony) I can see so clearly now.
And I just hurt that my baby has so many issues to deal with, and while I know that in the grand scheme of things in this life, it's peanuts, it's still MY baby. And it hurts my heart more than I ever knew. I know it will work out and he will be ok, but I just can't help but feel sad that I didn't help him sooner. :( Gosh darn.
Why don't these kids come with a manual or something.
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13 comments:
Oh sweetie, it's not your fault! How could you know? My heart breaks for Evan, poor thing! Kids can be mean, so I'll cross my fingers that the other kids are nice.
I have a friend whose daughter had to do the patch therapy at the age of not-quite-two. But she seems to be better now. As a person who had to wear really thick glasses from 4th grade on, I totally feel for you guys.
On the other hand, how cute/handsome is he going to look in glasses??
I followed you here from 2Peas. I wanted to tell you that two of my four children wear glasses. My 6 year old son, in kinder this year, told me at 2yrs old that his eyeballs hurt. We found he needed glasses. He's never been teased for glasses, that I know of. :)
The ped dr recommended we get one of our other children checked after his 6 month vision screening. He started wearing glasses at 7 MONTHS! :) He's now 4 and will be in kinder next year. He's also not been teased. He did wear a patch earlier this year for a few days due to a scratch on his cornea. The kids thought it was cool - again, no teasing! :)
Please feel free to email me if you would like. :) susan dot fairchild at gmail dot com
The dilation really does suck for kids. That's always the worst part for mine.
Anyway, he is totally adorable. Both your kids are. And he's still young, he's only in kindergarten so you did catch this while he was still little. And that makes you a good mom.
Sorry about all his issues, though. Poor little guy. I didn't even realize it was possible not to be able to see 3D!
Wow Ev you are going to look so totally cool and SMART! And reading will be so much easier! And the girls are going to think you are awesome and the other boys? Well, they will probably be jealous of all the attention you will get from the girls! Can't wait to see the pics of your new glasses! And even if they hurt a bit at first, you will get used to them and really really be glad!
Kira, I'll bet your purple glasses are going to be AWESOME too! You will look so cute in them!
And mommy, hang in there. We love you!
Oh Heidi! This isn't your fault, of COURSE you KNOW that....but Mommy guilt is always there. Never does leave actually,but Evan will LOVE his glasses! It'll open a whole new world for him! Your cousin Jared needed glasses (near-sighted)- we got HIS when he was only 2! He LOVED them and never gave us problems by not wanting to wear them. He was never 'teased' that he told me about~he was a very popular kid in all grades! When a child can SEE, what a difference the world is! This is going to be a good thing...so just be very happy you found out! The kids will have fun with them- nowadays glasses are COOL!
What a shock all of that must of been. Try to take some solace in knowing you did find out early and that there are options for him.
I bet he will look sooo cute in his new glasses!
And if it helps know that my 10 year old was devastated when he didn't need glasses - apparently around here they are cool!
Heidi, I didn't know Maria needed glasses until she was in the fourth grade and the school nurse caught it in the screening. I was sure the nurse was wrong because there was no way that my straight A kid could have poor vision. Turned out the nurse was right. Maria could only see about 8 to 10 inches clearly. Totally corrected with glasses, but I was devastated. I started to cry when the doctor told us. He wasn't too sympathetic because I was reacting like a parent who had just been told her child was going blind.I still remember how bad I felt that I didn't notice sooner.
Then when she was 14 we found out she had asthma. Now THAT I really should have noticed. Parents aren't perfect. We just do our best. You are not alone and it will all work out. You will be amazed how well he will handle it all. Love you.
My little nephew who is six also wears glasses. He has had them for about three years. He is so stinking cute in them. No one teases him at all.
Poor kid. My friends two kids have glasses, and they are only 3 and 5, so tell him that glasses can be fun and other young kids are wearing them. I also have terrible vision(and my mom didn't find out until I was in 4th grade!). I was farsighted in one eye and nearsighted in another. I had to wear glasses that had one lens that were the Coke bottle thick ones and it magnified one eye. Glasses have come so far since when we were kids!
You guys should have a fun time picking out new lenses for him!
Oh, and I also thought it was kind of funny that he's wearing a 3D shirt. I would be so bummed to not be able to see 3D!
Oh, honey. My mommy hearts hurts for your mommy heart. It will all work out. Gabe got glasses in Kindergarten. No one teased him -in fact, everyone wanted to wear them!
Awww! I know, I'd feel bad too! At least now you know, right?
I understand there's a percentage of the population for whom those 3D movies just don't work. (I still haven't actually seen one!)
My best friend from high school has a 6 year old that has a lot of vision problems. She has to wear the eye patch every day and is having surgery in June because she has cataracts. (yes, cataracts)
I was in 3rd grade when I first got glasses. My mom felt bad, but the assistant at the eye doctor helped us feel a lot better. She pointed out that you don't miss what you don't know you had. If everything has been out of focus all your life, you don't know that you're not normal/that's not normal. The same was for my heart arrhythmia. I didn't know that not everyone had a resting pulse of 120 and got up to 200 when exercising. That had been my normal.
I don't think kids tease about glasses anymore. They're really popular and seeing small children in glasses isn't as strange as it used to be. Kinda like braces, small kids want to have them until they actually *need* them.
Can the not seeing 3D be fixed with special glasses or something?
Instead of feeling guilty that you didn't know earlier, try to focus on the fact that you found out before Evan enters school. His problems are being taken care of now before it would have impacted him keeping up with everyone else in school.
-m in chicago
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